Family talks/interrogations

Do you have that one aunt, uncle, cousin, friend, etc. that feels the need to lecture you about your significant other?

I have had it on 3 occasions now, with little sessions here & there.

Two of my uncles gave me the talk that I should get someone who is on my level.  One who is educated, professional & that I shall not settle.  I should be an independent woman with no need to stand behind any man.  To a degree they are within reason & have the right to “advise” their niece.  But where are the boundaries drawn?

My aunt just recently gave me the similar lecture & said that I should also get someone who is on my level, but who is she to assume that my significant other isn’t educated or good enough for me?  She hasn’t seen me in over 6yrs and lives 3hrs away in flight 0_o.

Her main points:

  • Find a man who is on my level – both educationally & mentally.
  • Find someone who wants to better themselves, move forward and improve with you.
  • Scout out men in places where professionals would be, aim high. && etc. etc. blahh

You know sometimes you can’t help who you love of fall in love with.  Yes of course, we set out to find all these things in a significant other but if they don’t have ALL the qualities you seek, do you not give them the time of day?! 

What about the love, devotion, mental, emotional and physical fulfillment?  Is that of no value; has this world come to be only superficial?  What your job title is, how much you earn, the car you drive?  Why would I spend my time chasing after people who wouldn’t give me the time of day when I already have someone who makes me happy, loves me for who I am.  I can be myself with no judgment.

It is what it is, I am living in the moment and presently I am fulfilled.  It is, what it is.  Sometimes we focus too much on the future & forget about the present; nothing in life is promised.  I rather have experienced love now then to aimlessly run and chase the perfect man, die tomorrow & have not found or experienced love at all.  I have my whole life ahead of me, who`s to say that something won’t change tomorrow or even after this blog post is posted?

Just leave it up to me to live the life I want to live because thus far I have no regrets.  Let me make my own mistakes, fall but rebuild, cry, learn, mature, prosper, laugh, live life!

Sometimes people peer into our lives without having true justification behind the words they try to “advise” you with. Judge you without looking at themselves and their past actions, or the actions of their very own children & GRANDCHILDREN!!  (well in my situation) But I am sure we have all had someone try to bash the person we are thinking/choosing to be with.

I had to vent!  Thanks for reading 🙂

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10 thoughts on “Family talks/interrogations

  1. chris9911 says:

    hahaha, that is so cute :), you have a wonderful family there, they are all looking out for you, and I totally understand where they are coming from, because I lived it…lol. Just as fyi, here is what I did for my wife. I submitted my professional work resume, full medical record, full credit score check by two organizations, copy of my college diplomas, my last 3 paystubs, copy of my U.S. passport, my net worth summary sheet, and 3 or 4 personal references. She then asked if she needed to submit those documents as well, I told her there is no need, I said, “I already know I’m going to marry you”…hehehe. That was our 2nd date and the beginning of the end for her…lol. I always tell her she got a raw deal.

    The point is, if you have seen enough examples of bad men and good men, you will know if that person is exceptional and a capable person to raise your kids if something bad happened to you. If he is fully capable of taking care of your kids, he will be more than capable of looking out for you, too 🙂 I think you’ll do fine. But please do your concerned blog followers a favor, can you post his resume and credit score for us to review? lol. Oh and stay away from sombody claiming to be a lyricist.

    • xoEvelynOrtizHasSpoken says:

      lol, why thank you 🙂

      Yeah my family is a little over protective & i understand also but there comes a point where they should trust me to stand on my own two feet.

      && wow they don’t make them like you anymore!! That is a lot that you did to prove yourself to your wife.

      This was so cute “I already know I’m going to marry you”…

      & wow you make some valid points, I agree. So far those qualities I see in him, future great husband that is able to take care/provide & father figure to future kids.

      hahaha lol, I will work on a resume for you. He is a construction worker who works on develpong subways & trains .. && I just think sterotypical views are embedded in these kind of workers.

      But it is what it is ❤ 😉 Thanks for reading & sharing a wonderful thought out comment!

      • chris9911 says:

        Thats actually not a bad occupation. He’ll probably have bunch of joint problems in his later years but there are surprising amount of good hard working people in that line of work, and plenty of bad ones, too…lol. Keep an eye out for signs of laziness and lack of commitment to his job. If the guy gets up at 5-6 every morning, loves his job, and rarely ever complains, he is a very good candidate. Also see what he does around his co-worders, while you are present. There is no substitute for a hard working, honest man, that looks out for you 🙂
        If I had a daughter, I would absolutely prefer a hard working construction worker over most of these PhD baffoons any day! But thats from loving caring father’s perspective 🙂

      • xoEvelynOrtizHasSpoken says:

        aww wow, I would prefer that also 🙂

        “There is no substitute for a hard working, honest man, that looks out for you” – & he is a very hard worker who is dedicated. He works even when he is sick & falling apart haha. I dont know how he does it but he manages. He has only had maybe 4 days off within a 2 yr period; these weren’t full days either, he at times just took half a day.

        Co-Workers I haven’t been around but within his friends & family he treats me well & gives me my place.

      • chris9911 says:

        wow, that does sound like a potential for a really good man. You can tell you relatives that anybody can make any amount of money, education can be purchased with money, BUT you cannot buy, or train, for diligence and hard work at this point in life. At any given moment, if your man gets a 1st shift union job or a successful construction business, he would out-earn any PhD degree’d person. If steady income is their concern, they need to realize its a non issue. While your man is working hard outside, you got these group of unemployed college degreed kids protesting infront of Wall st….lol. What a contrast that is 🙂 I saw interview of this one gal and she was compalining about her $200k+ of college loan debt!!

      • xoEvelynOrtizHasSpoken says:

        🙂 🙂 🙂

        “While your man is working hard outside, you got these group of unemployed college degreed kids protesting infront of Wall st….lol. What a contrast that is” hahaha I love that comparison.

        I agree, I feel like its not always so much about the career & job title. && thats right, you definately cannot train a person to be a hard worker, that comes from within that individual.

  2. jannatwrites says:

    Families can be frustrating, but the fact is – they love you. My husband is not who my parents wanted for me. Many times, up until even the day before our wedding, my mom tried to talk me into backing out (we’ve been married fifteen years now.) There are several reasons she gave, and it felt like I was being asked to choose between him and family, but I ended up going with my heart. Is he perfect? No…and neither am I. They wanted me to marry a college man (hubby didn’t go to college.) I dated several college guys during my 4 years and if mom only knew, she wouldn’t have been so adamant about that 🙂

    Love is complicated, and sometimes when we’re in the middle of it, we can’t see obvious ‘signs’ that others can. So in this way, it’s good to at least hear them out. At least then, we can look at the relationship differently. Ultimately, it’s your choice to make, though. Good luck!

    • xoEvelynOrtizHasSpoken says:

      That is is true that we sometimes cannot see obvious signs, love is blind. However when people are just pre-judging and arent really around to asses & see the situation for what it is, that is what bothers me.

      I am glad that you went with your heart & that it worked out for you ❤ Sometimes it`s best to find things out on our own.

      Thanks for reading & sharing your comment xo

  3. Titillating Thoughts says:

    They aren’t the ones who will have to wake up next to the person every morning. Families have to voice opinions though…It’s what they do. You aren’t getting the full experience otherwise.

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