Being helpful or Condescending?

Do you ever come across those people who swear they want to “help you” but you feel as though they have other interior motives?

I have come across many intelligent individuals within my school and personal career & many of them in deed like to help out others who may not understand certain material as quick or as well as them.  Then there are those who think they are better than you, smarter, wiser & wittier. They like to make you feel as though you are beneath them in one shape or form.

I personally ask for help when I need it, when I truly feel as though I need some assistance, advice, etc.  What I don’t like is to feel belittled, inferior and or being interrogated.  I acknowledge the older & wiser.  It is one thing to be helpful and another to be condescending.  Do they get satisfaction out of seeing you squirm and search for answers?  I don’t like to be constantly questioned and attacked.

When I am at work I like to work and fulfill my job duties and when I am in school I like to be the studious student.  But when I am at work, that is my FREE time and if chose to shun out some learning until class then that is my choice.  I hate when people try to put/push things onto me.  Work is work, School is school.  Two different atmospheres.

I am all for learning new things, gaining knowledge but it’s another when I am being interrogated/questioned about things to make me feel smaller and beneath you.  I don’t like people who try to sway and change me into believing what they believe, see what they see, act they want me to act, do what they want me to do, etc.  I am my own person and individual with my own mind, morals, values, and thoughts and if I don’t let people push me over and that makes me STUBBORN then SO BE IT!

(My second part-time job is in a little bit of a laid back setting, I care for a man with Parkinson`s disease who is a retired teacher who quite often tries to “teach” me things and goes about it the wrong way.)

Lord give me patience!!!!  🙂

Females are predisposed

I am taking a Businees in Communications course & the main objective of the class will focus on communications within careers, relationships, the work place, etc.  Communication can be both verbal & nonverbal.  Appearance and sex are both non communicative factors that sometimes influence gender roles and or stereotypes.

Our first major assignment was to create an AIDA letter to a government official, corporation, editorial staff, the school campus, and or to someone in the local community regarding an issue.  I decided to address an issue within my community.

An AIDA letter is to get the ATTENTION, spark INTEREST, state what you DESIRE, and the ACTION that should be taken.

  • ATTENTION – What used to be a quiet neighborhood now has youngins’ in rice rockets racing up & down my block filled with young children, elderly people, etc.  They run stop signs & constantly disrupt the neighborhood at all hours of the day with their racket of a motor.  One almost rammed my door closed while I was grabbing groceries. They park their cars in the middle of the street, oblivious to vehicle traffic.
  • INTEREST – Laws are being broken, ignoring the issue will only invite others to join in.  Someone can get run over, killed, injured.
  • DESIRE/ACTION – Install speed bumps to slow them down, or get police to patrol the area.

That is an overview of my letter & topic.

So, my professor commented that girls/women aren’t into the “car life” like boys/men would be.  Being a female automatically throws me into the category of being ignorant or uninterested about cars.  My appearance gives off being high maintenance – a fashionista, nails & hair done, enough said.  When truth is I am the best of both worlds.  I love cars & the things that you can do to them.  I have my car done up with tinted windows, a set of rims & added a little base to my music however, I haven’t changed my exhaust and decide to race down neighborhood roads and ignore stop signs!  There are things and actions that are done tastefully & others that are just tacky.  Not for nothing but their cars sound like motors gone wrong!  I ask about cars & I like to be informed about every little detail & problem when it comes to my car.  If I could go back to high school & attend BOCES I would definitely go into auto body & mechanics.  Well maybe in my next life 😉

I guess if being a male testosterone driven individual means to drive a honda civic from the 90`s, change the exhaust, have a busted muffler, tinted windows, stolen rims, dropped car an inch or two, Kenwood speaker system, speed/race, run stop signs, terrorize my neighbors, park my car in the middle of the road – then yes I guess I am happy to be a female. Lmao.  Judge me!

Well enough about cars and stereotypes, I need to go get my nails done! Hahaha ❤

 🙂   🙂

Females are predisposed to ... 

Family talks/interrogations

Do you have that one aunt, uncle, cousin, friend, etc. that feels the need to lecture you about your significant other?

I have had it on 3 occasions now, with little sessions here & there.

Two of my uncles gave me the talk that I should get someone who is on my level.  One who is educated, professional & that I shall not settle.  I should be an independent woman with no need to stand behind any man.  To a degree they are within reason & have the right to “advise” their niece.  But where are the boundaries drawn?

My aunt just recently gave me the similar lecture & said that I should also get someone who is on my level, but who is she to assume that my significant other isn’t educated or good enough for me?  She hasn’t seen me in over 6yrs and lives 3hrs away in flight 0_o.

Her main points:

  • Find a man who is on my level – both educationally & mentally.
  • Find someone who wants to better themselves, move forward and improve with you.
  • Scout out men in places where professionals would be, aim high. && etc. etc. blahh

You know sometimes you can’t help who you love of fall in love with.  Yes of course, we set out to find all these things in a significant other but if they don’t have ALL the qualities you seek, do you not give them the time of day?! 

What about the love, devotion, mental, emotional and physical fulfillment?  Is that of no value; has this world come to be only superficial?  What your job title is, how much you earn, the car you drive?  Why would I spend my time chasing after people who wouldn’t give me the time of day when I already have someone who makes me happy, loves me for who I am.  I can be myself with no judgment.

It is what it is, I am living in the moment and presently I am fulfilled.  It is, what it is.  Sometimes we focus too much on the future & forget about the present; nothing in life is promised.  I rather have experienced love now then to aimlessly run and chase the perfect man, die tomorrow & have not found or experienced love at all.  I have my whole life ahead of me, who`s to say that something won’t change tomorrow or even after this blog post is posted?

Just leave it up to me to live the life I want to live because thus far I have no regrets.  Let me make my own mistakes, fall but rebuild, cry, learn, mature, prosper, laugh, live life!

Sometimes people peer into our lives without having true justification behind the words they try to “advise” you with. Judge you without looking at themselves and their past actions, or the actions of their very own children & GRANDCHILDREN!!  (well in my situation) But I am sure we have all had someone try to bash the person we are thinking/choosing to be with.

I had to vent!  Thanks for reading 🙂

Hello there

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It has been quite awhile since I have last posted anything, I have been so overwhelmed with LIFE!

I miss the blogosphere world & I am looking forward to catching up sometime soon!

 

On a little adventure with David R. Johnson, I created a blog for him.  Maybe you all can check him out & see what it`s about. 

http://davidrjohnsonslostreality.wordpress.com/

 

Busy with everyone else, work, family & etc. I have neglected my own personal life :-/

((The picture of this blog is compliments of David R. Johnson))

 

Enjoy your day! xoEvelynOrtizHasSpoken ❤